Cherish

I don't know why her mum's death affected me so much. I was too shocked to hear it from her last Friday. Her mum was watching a chinese TV programme on a Saturday at 10plus when she returned home. About 2 hours later, she came out of her room and tried to wake her mum up, thinking that she was fast asleep on the couch.

Her mum never woke up.

Her mum was rushed to the hospital and the doctor declared her dead. The cause of death : Silent heart attack.

I was still very affected after almost a week after hearing the news. I started searching on the net about dying in one's sleep. Apparently, people who die in their sleeps are usually misdiagnosed as dying from heart attacks. The real cause is most likely central sleep apnea, when one's brain fails to transmit signals to its breathing muscles.

I am getting really more melancholic about life. I am getting more doubtful about life. I am really saddened by the things happening around me.

Cherish what we have for as long as we live. I hope you get to read this.

18th March 2011

16 days to go....the first ever in my entire life.

You Are The Inspiration

I have never met or seen someone whose personality is larger than her life. You are the only one in my entire life. I admire your courage, your positive attitude, your determination and most of all, your zest for life. Though you lived only a short 10 years, the life you lived was definitely much more meaningful than most of us. If I ever had an offspring, I would name her after you, Shiloh.

Your Final Journey

You are gone, finally.

Hope your loved ones, especially your husband and daughter, stay strong and move on with their lives.

Our hearts cry out for you and your family.

Please Stay Strong

I hope you stay strong. Hope to 'see' you on Wednesday. We all grief with you, so please get back on your feet soon...We all know that you will be strong. You are not alone.

R.I.P.

In the middle of the flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days.
during the days when it is too busy,
you and I sketch out our future.

Placing their love on March's wind,
the sakura buds continue on through spring.

rays of an overflowing light,
little by little, warm up the morning.
After giving a large yawn,
I'm a little shy being by your side.

Standing at a new world's entrance,
I now notice that I'm not alone.

If I close my eyes, you are there.
under my eyelids you live.
How strong it could become
As for you and me, I want to be together

The dust carried by a whirlwind,
entwines with the laundry to be done,
Just before noon the white moon in the sky
I was somehow fascinated by how pretty it was.

Although there are times when I can't do it right,
if I look up at the sky, even being that small

The blue sky is sharply clear
the sheeplike clouds quietly sway.
the joy of waiting for flowers to bloom
if it's sharing that with you, that is happiness.

In the future as well gently smile next to me.

If I close my eyes, you are there.
under my eyelids you live.
How strong it could become
As for you and me, I want to be together

A Quiet Monday Morning

Monday morning was extremely quiet. Things around me seemed sombre. The bus was exceptionally empty. People in the street, mostly clad in black, seemed to be sharing the grief.

The sky was overcasted but the rain didn't pour.

Can't wait for Monday to be over. Just want to be alone. Again. Coz nothing matters anymore.

Anzen Chitai

Looking forward to 24th October 2010!

それが通過する

An Ugly Life?

On my way to work the other day, I saw an old man who bears a resemblance to Jose. He has a huge growth on his face but it has not covered up his whole face yet. The growth is kindda round and smooth; unlike that of Jose's, who has multiple growths which protrude and are rough in surface. I started questioning myself: Why doesn't he seek help? Is it because he is poor? Or is it because he just doesn't want to seek help? Or is it because lilike the young Jose, whose mum used to pamper him and gave him the idea ththat it was the mirror's fault that he is ugly?

It really pains me to see people like them suffering everyday.

On the same day when I was returning from work, there was this really elderly man sitting beside me in the bus. He looks like he is in his late 80s or early 90s with numerous liver spots on his wrinkled face and hands. He started asking me if the bus that he boarded would take him to B. I told him the bus would go to W. He emphasized again that he had to return to B. I told him that he had to get off at the next stop and walked to another stop at the junction to take another bus to B. He did just that. However, when the bus stopped at the stop, I realised that he would have to walk about 500m to get to the stop where there is bus number 7. I felt so sorry for him instantly. I prayed that he got back home safely eventually.

I guess life is not so beautiful afterall for people like them...

Aska はじまりはいつも雨

Duran Duran - Come Undone

Reality

Reality's hitting me, read hard. Concerned people around me are happy
I should be elated too.

Careless Whisper.

Celebration of Life

Blue skies, white fluffy clouds
What a lovely sight

Beautiful music
In this awesome morning

It calls for a celebration!
A celebration of Life!

Romantische Ironie

Will be like this for the next few days!

My Thoughts Are With You

Not sure why I have been thinking about you. Various images of you have been coming into my mind the last few days; when I lay in bed, travelling in the bus, walking, and even sitting in front of the computer typing away.

I guess no one can understand why you did what you did. No one could and still cannot understand how miserable you were. Your world was in total darkness, but no one could see that. I am also not sure why I am filled with so much sadness of the decision that you took, though our paths never crossed.

I am sure you are happy now, you chose the path, though your loved ones around you must be devastated. I pray that you have already met him in heaven...

R.I.P.

Being Carefree

It's been the longest time ever since I feel so carefree in my life. Trying to savour every single second and am enjoying every bit of it.

Good times never last, soon they will be gone. It's time to go back to reality. Sigh.....

平井堅 - いつか離れる日が来ても / Ken Hirai - Itsuka Hanareru ... [cover]

いつか離れる日が来ても!

平井堅 – いつか離れる日が来ても

作詩：Ken Hirai
作曲：Ken Hirai

魔法のような笑顔に　何度救われただろう
手をつないだ帰り道　ふと心細くなる

自分より大事なもの　手にするのが幸せだと
教えてくれた君は　僕を強くも弱くもする

「考え過ぎだよ　笑ってよ」僕の頬をつねるけど
このぬくもりに満たされる程
失う怖さにどうしようもなく襲われるんだ

いつか離れる日が来ても
出会えた全てを悔やむ事だけは　決してしたくないから
ねぇ　今キスしてもいいかな?
なぜだろう　こんなに君を想うだけで　涙が出るんだ

君という宝物が　隣にいる奇蹟を
あの空はおぼえている　時を超えおぼえてる

愛の言葉を並べても　1つにはなれなくて
このぬくもりに甘えてしまう
失う怖さをかき消す様に　何度も何度も

いつか心が壊れても
大好きな君を憎む事だけは　決してしたくないから
ねぇ　今抱きしめていいかな?
どうしてこんなに君を想うだけで　苦しくなるんだ

いつか離れる日が来ても
出会えた全てを悔やむ事だけは　決してしたくないから
ねぇ　今キスしてもいいかな?
なぜだろう　こんなに君を想うだけで　涙が出るんだ

なぜだろう　こんなに君を想うだけで　涙が、、、出るんだ


Hirai Ken – Even If We Must Part Someday

Lyrics: Ken Hirai
Music: Ken Hirai

How many times have I been saved by your magical smile?
As we hold hands and walk home together, I suddenly become forlorn

You taught me that happiness is gaining something
More important than yourself and you make me both stronger and weaker

“You’re thinking too hard. Smile.”
You pinch my cheek
But as much as this warmth fills me
I can’t help being assaulted by the fear of losing you

Even if we must part someday
I don’t ever want to regret meeting everything about you
Say, is it alright if I kiss you now?
Why is it when I think of you like this tears come out?

You are a treasure and being by my side is a miracle
That the sky will remember for all time

Even if I line up words of love for you, we can’t be as one
I’ll lose myself in this warmth
Like erasing the fear of losing you, over and over

Even if my heart breaks someday
I don’t ever want to hate you whom I love so much
Say, is it alright if I hold you now?
Why is it when I think of you like this I’m in so much pain?

Even if we must part someday
I don’t ever want to regret meeting everything about you
Say, is it alright if I kiss you now?
Why is it when I think of you like this tears come out?

Why is it when I think of you like this…tears come out?

Ken Hirai Boku wa Kimi ni Koi wo suru[eng sub]

Lethargic Monday

Having slept for 7 hours, am still feeling sluggish. Really dread tomorrow afternoon ....it won't be nice to cancel it. Hope today will be good.

Aphorism

Someone asked me today, "Have you heard that nice people finish last?"
Is it true?
"Do no evil". That's the policy. Does it mean that the "do no evil" philosophy does not hold water at all?

Nothingness

いま、会いにゆきます