What am I doing here?

Don't know why I am feeling so down. I always thought that I am a very optimistic person, and that nothing will ever make me give up. But I think I am losing it......My eyes have the tendency to shut down even when I am jogging.....and am feeling listless and restless all the time.

In the past, nothing could make my days unhappy or makes me feel down. But even little things that come into my way make me feel damn lousy these days. So many of these little things accumulate and they snowball to become ONE big problem. What is really bothering me? I don't have the answer.

When I started this blog, I told myself not to focus on myself; coz I don't want to be so self-centred. There's no me, myself, and Jessie...NO, not at all. But today, I just feel that I have to release my pent-up feelings inside me. What are these frustrations? What are the roots of these frustrations? Is there only one real thing that bothers me? Or is it accumulative? I am so tired, tired of everything. But is the problem so serious that I want to end my life? Answer is a definite no. I am not depressed, that's for sure. I am just feeling down. My life seems so meaningless. I am not making myself useful anywhere. I can't even seem to contribute to EP anymore. How can I help? I really do not know.

So what am I doing here? What am I doing here?

I want to conquer ranges and ranges of mountain
I want to sail thousands and thousands of miles
I want to fly day and night
Even if my wings are broken
To be where I want to be....
The place that keeps eluding me
Where are you?
Where are you?
Please make yourself more conspicuous
So that I can land safely in your hands